So now summer is into full swing and I am a bit disappointed this week with how things have ended up...hoping for better luck next week
first of all: the STUPID US postal service lost my book....yeah the one from before.. Sun Stand Still...the one I am still wanting to read....well they didnt actually lose it, they said they delivered it to my house...but they actually did not. I'm contemplating if filing a 'claims report' is worth the $12.69 book (including shipping..next time im upgrading my shipping option)
secondly: I thought I was going to be able to go to FL with friends...and then I checked the schedule at work and realized that the four days I had off are actually days I need to work...so that was my fault...but still I was about to start packing today...when I realized I couldn't go last night....I partially blame the US postal service as well...since they got me all flustered.
thirdly: all my friends are MIA...the ones who are not MIA are working... I have not figured out how this is the US postal services fault too...but I'm sure they are involved with this too...
OK
done complaining....but I am thankful that I have a job that I can honestly say that I love...and I'm just hoping that I can go to the beach at another time during the summer, without missing too much work.
Other than that today consists of spring cleaning and possible pool time, and NOT reading Sun Stand Still
today's random mission: paint toe nails an obnoxiously bright color
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Saturday, May 28, 2011
The Rocket Summer: Goodbye Waves & Driveways
'' Just walk away
Gather your thoughts for the second wave
Of this argument on this epic changing day
Its crazy to think that an hour ago all things were great
But we stand here both proud both wrong and right
Throwing cheap shots in this stubborn fight
And our lives are so intertwined in one
But we're just so stuck in this moment it's clear that were coming undone
And you see it’s hard for me to breathe
When I get all worked up with these feelings
And I don’t know exactly how it is
That we can be so mad we consider to not exist
When we both know there’s so much love clenched within our fists
The goodbye waves in the driveway they just resonate
And yes I am throwing it right back at her
While were drowning in rivers from our faces
We just wanna know if, this is this over
A trembling silence fills the air
As we stand here so impaired, so aware
I sit in this house
Alone with fresh photographs
And I just can’t relax
And like cigarette smoke, I’m starting to choke on this
That half of my soul is on the road in a car with a girl in a dress
And it’s making it hard for me to breathe
When I get all worked up with these feelings
And I don’t know exactly how it is
That just to say I’m right your wrong we both lose to win
The goodbye waves in the driveway they just resonate
And yes I am throwing it right back at her
While were drowning in rivers from our faces
We just wanna know if this, is this over
A trembling silence fills the air
As we stand here whoa-oh
So hey now, maybe we're just being stupid
Maybe we're just being dumb
Hey maybe it's time that we stopped and we realized
Like a flag in the wind we are one
And how at first it’s made so pure and lovely
But in battle can be torn to shreds
But with time and with patience and love and affection
Can be fixed with needle and thread
Because I love you and do you love me
And nothing will make this leave
I said I love you and do you love me
And nothing will make, make, make, make this leave
So remember me, yeah!
Remember me, yeah!
Remember me
And don’t walk away... ''
Gather your thoughts for the second wave
Of this argument on this epic changing day
Its crazy to think that an hour ago all things were great
But we stand here both proud both wrong and right
Throwing cheap shots in this stubborn fight
And our lives are so intertwined in one
But we're just so stuck in this moment it's clear that were coming undone
And you see it’s hard for me to breathe
When I get all worked up with these feelings
And I don’t know exactly how it is
That we can be so mad we consider to not exist
When we both know there’s so much love clenched within our fists
The goodbye waves in the driveway they just resonate
And yes I am throwing it right back at her
While were drowning in rivers from our faces
We just wanna know if, this is this over
A trembling silence fills the air
As we stand here so impaired, so aware
I sit in this house
Alone with fresh photographs
And I just can’t relax
And like cigarette smoke, I’m starting to choke on this
That half of my soul is on the road in a car with a girl in a dress
And it’s making it hard for me to breathe
When I get all worked up with these feelings
And I don’t know exactly how it is
That just to say I’m right your wrong we both lose to win
The goodbye waves in the driveway they just resonate
And yes I am throwing it right back at her
While were drowning in rivers from our faces
We just wanna know if this, is this over
A trembling silence fills the air
As we stand here whoa-oh
So hey now, maybe we're just being stupid
Maybe we're just being dumb
Hey maybe it's time that we stopped and we realized
Like a flag in the wind we are one
And how at first it’s made so pure and lovely
But in battle can be torn to shreds
But with time and with patience and love and affection
Can be fixed with needle and thread
Because I love you and do you love me
And nothing will make this leave
I said I love you and do you love me
And nothing will make, make, make, make this leave
So remember me, yeah!
Remember me, yeah!
Remember me
And don’t walk away... ''
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
"send me away with the words of a love song..."
I couldn't help myself from feeling discontent with the strain between my heart, my head, and common sense. It's kinda funny how the three would seemingly go hand in hand but more often [in my life at least] contradict themselves. Throughout my day of running, talking with friends and family, driving, watching TV..I was distracted by what has been something I've struggled with the last 6 months... My heart says "love", my mind says "push away", and common sense says "be happy with what you have" how am I suppose to decide? Do I decide?
I am torn between guarding my heart and trusting God, or totally ruining a potentially good thing...but is it already ruined? My head is swimming with what ifs and maybes and confusion of all sort...my mind is not at rest...definitely not content either. I've poured my prayers and tears into this...and I feel broken by something that I thought God was totally encouraging. I guess while my intentions were good I was not in tune to God's sovereign voice telling me to guard my heart. So at this point...until I know where God is [heart, mind, or common sense or all three] I can repent for my carelessness, and pray that God is even more prevalent in the situation. I pray he reminds me of my first true love, Jesus Christ, and makes all my joy come from Him!
Tomorrow's goal is to forget about everything I think or feel and to solely seek God in His word about this, and pray earnestly that God would take away any false feelings or thoughts and replace them with peace and contentment with reminders of His faithfulness and goodness in my life. I hope it doesn't mean losing my best friend, but if that is the cross I have to carry then I need to know that it was no where near the price of Jesus dying for my sin.
My sin has contributed to my despair but has also made me weak and that is good apparently :
[ "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 2Corinthians 12:9 ]
Not everyone is going to understand what this blog post was about, and that is okay...because the one person that does know...matters that much
until next time...
I am torn between guarding my heart and trusting God, or totally ruining a potentially good thing...but is it already ruined? My head is swimming with what ifs and maybes and confusion of all sort...my mind is not at rest...definitely not content either. I've poured my prayers and tears into this...and I feel broken by something that I thought God was totally encouraging. I guess while my intentions were good I was not in tune to God's sovereign voice telling me to guard my heart. So at this point...until I know where God is [heart, mind, or common sense or all three] I can repent for my carelessness, and pray that God is even more prevalent in the situation. I pray he reminds me of my first true love, Jesus Christ, and makes all my joy come from Him!
Tomorrow's goal is to forget about everything I think or feel and to solely seek God in His word about this, and pray earnestly that God would take away any false feelings or thoughts and replace them with peace and contentment with reminders of His faithfulness and goodness in my life. I hope it doesn't mean losing my best friend, but if that is the cross I have to carry then I need to know that it was no where near the price of Jesus dying for my sin.
My sin has contributed to my despair but has also made me weak and that is good apparently :
[ "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 2Corinthians 12:9 ]
Not everyone is going to understand what this blog post was about, and that is okay...because the one person that does know...matters that much
until next time...
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
climax of my day: going to wal mart....
I have now completed my first official day of summer 2011, it was long, it was restful, and I was completely lost as to what to do with all of my extra time. I felt so pathetic. [a little backtrack...] Yesterday, I took the Praxis which I am so glad that is over with. Hopefully I pass, and be one step closer to being finished with school and one step closer to teaching...if the world doesn't freeze over before hand. [hmm I'm not bitter about being in school at all]
Today was probably the worst possible first day of summer anyone has ever had...it was raining...it was cold...my motivation was low...friends were busy...and I was stuck with my thoughts of how pathetic I was. I'm disappointed that in spite of having nothing to do, I didn't even have a devotion time with the Lord. You would think with all this extra time on my hands I would make use of it, well lesson learned I suppose. However, I did find one of my summer readings on amazon called Sun Stand Still by Steven Furtick for only 8.75! I am very excited to start reading this; along with a Praying Life by Paul Miller!!
One of my main goals for the summer is to attempt p90x...I've had many people to discourage me from it, but a select few have been cheering me on. Today was suppose to be the start of that but I was missing the ONE cd that I needed that was locked in a house while the family is on a beach vacation. sooooo that didn't happen. Naturally, my next thought was- "well, I'll go to wal-mart" I'm not sure why walmart is a fall back place of boredom..but it is for me.
Today was probably the worst possible first day of summer anyone has ever had...it was raining...it was cold...my motivation was low...friends were busy...and I was stuck with my thoughts of how pathetic I was. I'm disappointed that in spite of having nothing to do, I didn't even have a devotion time with the Lord. You would think with all this extra time on my hands I would make use of it, well lesson learned I suppose. However, I did find one of my summer readings on amazon called Sun Stand Still by Steven Furtick for only 8.75! I am very excited to start reading this; along with a Praying Life by Paul Miller!! All in all my day was not completely useless, tomorrow my standards are much higher for myself, such as laundry, work out, devotion, clean and if it is sunny lay out...then tie dying with friends - I think I just described the life of a ex-hippie/yoga instructor grandma .... so comforting.
A little taste from Sun Stand Still:
" I'm glad God didn't cut the crisis moments out of the Bible. Without them, we would know nothing of his power. We would have nothing on which to base our trust in his unlimited provision. We would never prove his potential. We would never be carried by his tender mercies or have stories to tell of his presence in our darkest hours. Sometimes God lets the sun go down so that he can be our only light. Audacious faith doesn't mean my prayers work every time. It means that God is working even when my prayers don't seem to be working at all. "
Saturday, May 14, 2011
[ these are a few of my favorite things... ]
new socks ( so cushiony and comfy )
the way I feel after a good run
laughing at things no one else is laughing at
fresh tulips on my window sill
a movie night with friends
writing and receiving letters
satisfaction of a clean room
the adrenaline of a roller coaster
skittles
reading a book by the pool/beach
the smell of fresh cut grass
shifting from third to fourth gear
bobby pins ( I really do think I would fall apart without them )
meeting new people
getting a call from my mom just because she loves me
I love movies with blood, guts and guns
cooking new recipes
an unexpected nap in the middle of the day
snow
road trips ( the right people make aallll the difference! )
traveling
worshiping God
lemon and lime ( anything and everything )
being on time
cold pillows
the color yellow
there are many more things that make me smile, and enjoy life; hopefully my new blog will incorporate my favorite things with my everyday life in ways that are funny, interesting and fun to read and know about! From quotes, pictures, and stories, to jokes, recipes and random stuff or anything else I can type up to share!!
the way I feel after a good run
laughing at things no one else is laughing at
fresh tulips on my window sill
a movie night with friends
writing and receiving letters
satisfaction of a clean room
the adrenaline of a roller coaster
skittles
reading a book by the pool/beach
the smell of fresh cut grass
shifting from third to fourth gear
bobby pins ( I really do think I would fall apart without them )
meeting new people
getting a call from my mom just because she loves me
I love movies with blood, guts and guns
cooking new recipes
an unexpected nap in the middle of the day
snow
road trips ( the right people make aallll the difference! )
traveling
worshiping God
lemon and lime ( anything and everything )
being on time
cold pillows
the color yellow
there are many more things that make me smile, and enjoy life; hopefully my new blog will incorporate my favorite things with my everyday life in ways that are funny, interesting and fun to read and know about! From quotes, pictures, and stories, to jokes, recipes and random stuff or anything else I can type up to share!!
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