free for a purpose

I'm twenty years old, in college, away from my parents and have full access to all that the world has to offer.


but that is not what I want - I don't even know what I want anymore!! Either way having all the things I want is not nearly enough to satisfy my soul. 


This past week I've had a many pep talks to myself - at the end of each I have realized the importance to not rush this time that I have.  "chiiiiillll elizabeth, cross that bridge when you get there" (assuming I would even get to the bridge) although I am starting to feel anxiety of starting my last half of my college career I am also desiring to savor what is before me now.  All my life I have always planned everything, even the smallest most trivial things. In fact my own mom use to get really annoyed by my needy questions to have everything planned out and on time and every detail be accounted for. (unconditional love)


well, 


Before it was I just want to graduate college and get married and settle down.  Now, I think that has slightly changed.  Although my desires stay the same to one day achieve all of that I now just want to be free from a time limit that 'I' set for myself.  My one goal is to just keep walking with the Lord daily, being aware of His will for me more so than my own will, and being sensitive to where His spirit leads me. God has blessed me, and lifted the veil from my eyes to see that this is a season to enjoy and praise Him for!  He has shown me that I have no responsibility to pursue any kind of relationship but the one I have with His son, Jesus! I know this sounds bad, but I don't want to be tied down right now by a person/job/dream, I want to freely love Jesus and have Him be my consuming thoughts and have my care go towards tasks to further his kingdom...and before the past week I have not fully applied that to my heart and walk with the Lord.    


My prayer is that God gives me an awareness of sin along with a heavy conviction daily that recognizes my need for Him! I am looking forward to start the new (very busy) semester with this mindset and see where God proves His grace!!

If you're reading this and would like to pray for me, that would be greatly appreciated! 


specific prayers:


1. A couple with two small children visit my work often, they have also visited church twice now! I really feel that they are open to the Gospel, I have yet to actually share the Gospel with them beyond inviting them to church.  My request is that you please pray for their hearts be softened towards the Gospel, and that God would continue to be with me while befriending this sweet family! 


2. A heart of boldness to genuinely reach out to people and love them like Christ calls me to. I will have smaller classes and probably have more opportunities to have one on one conversations.


3. I want to have a thankful heart during the semester; God blesses me daily with many things...I anticipate days that are going to be overwhelming and busy but in the moment I want to remember that God is for me and not against me. 


4. I will be praying that God humbles my heart and brings me to a place solely dependent on Him for joy, content, and love. Let there be no room for my heart to want something besides Jesus. 



"But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. Once you were not a people, but now you are God’s people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy. Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul.  Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation. Be subject for the Lord’s sake to every human institution, whether it be to the emperor as supreme, or to governors as sent by him to punish those who do evil and to praise those who do good. For this is the will of God, that by doing good you should put to silence the ignorance of foolish people.  Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God. "

1 Peter 2:9-16