The first week of school was definitely NOT as slow as I expected. I have propelled myself full speed into a never ending thought process of what to do next, where to be, and deadlines galore. Pretty much every minute of my foreseeable future is reserved for some sort of school, work or church related event. I was naive to believe I would ease my way into such a demanding semester. I was eventually going to have to deal with it at some point...might as well face it now.
Seeing as how I just complained of having no time, it probably doesn't justify my busy schedule if I admitted to absolutely falling in love with a book that I didn't even plan on/desired to read. Whether I am waiting for my classes to begin, having a ten minute break at work, or just trying to wind down at night I have been taking every opportunity to read this book. I have begun reading The Hunger Games! I usually NEVER read a book besides the bible or whatever required text book in school...so this is a huge step in the right direction for me...considering the in school to be an educator and all....
I really hope I can finish the book before the reality of my schedule comes crashing down and ruins any and all will power to read, focus, and/or stay alive <- -( i'm sometimes dramatic...)
Yes, my schedule is a bit on the full side, but hey!...whose isn't?
Hopefully I will post soon - I can't wait to get a few clinical hours in at elementary schools, I will have a plethora of moments to share and many quotes from all the crazy stuff that kids think of to say these days...
in case you were wondering...
the sweet couple that comes into work, and that I asked prayers for in my last post..?!? well, they came back to church last week....and they really liked it!!! I hope I get to see them tomorrow too! Praise God for answered prayers and fellowship with others!
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
free for a purpose
I'm twenty years old, in college, away from my parents and have full access to all that the world has to offer.
but that is not what I want - I don't even know what I want anymore!! Either way having all the things I want is not nearly enough to satisfy my soul.
This past week I've had a many pep talks to myself - at the end of each I have realized the importance to not rush this time that I have. "chiiiiillll elizabeth, cross that bridge when you get there" (assuming I would even get to the bridge) although I am starting to feel anxiety of starting my last half of my college career I am also desiring to savor what is before me now. All my life I have always planned everything, even the smallest most trivial things. In fact my own mom use to get really annoyed by my needy questions to have everything planned out and on time and every detail be accounted for. (unconditional love)
well,
Before it was I just want to graduate college and get married and settle down. Now, I think that has slightly changed. Although my desires stay the same to one day achieve all of that I now just want to be free from a time limit that 'I' set for myself. My one goal is to just keep walking with the Lord daily, being aware of His will for me more so than my own will, and being sensitive to where His spirit leads me. God has blessed me, and lifted the veil from my eyes to see that this is a season to enjoy and praise Him for! He has shown me that I have no responsibility to pursue any kind of relationship but the one I have with His son, Jesus! I know this sounds bad, but I don't want to be tied down right now by a person/job/dream, I want to freely love Jesus and have Him be my consuming thoughts and have my care go towards tasks to further his kingdom...and before the past week I have not fully applied that to my heart and walk with the Lord.
My prayer is that God gives me an awareness of sin along with a heavy conviction daily that recognizes my need for Him! I am looking forward to start the new (very busy) semester with this mindset and see where God proves His grace!!
If you're reading this and would like to pray for me, that would be greatly appreciated!
specific prayers:
1. A couple with two small children visit my work often, they have also visited church twice now! I really feel that they are open to the Gospel, I have yet to actually share the Gospel with them beyond inviting them to church. My request is that you please pray for their hearts be softened towards the Gospel, and that God would continue to be with me while befriending this sweet family!
2. A heart of boldness to genuinely reach out to people and love them like Christ calls me to. I will have smaller classes and probably have more opportunities to have one on one conversations.
3. I want to have a thankful heart during the semester; God blesses me daily with many things...I anticipate days that are going to be overwhelming and busy but in the moment I want to remember that God is for me and not against me.
4. I will be praying that God humbles my heart and brings me to a place solely dependent on Him for joy, content, and love. Let there be no room for my heart to want something besides Jesus.
"But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. Once you were not a people, but now you are God’s people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy. Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul. Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation. Be subject for the Lord’s sake to every human institution, whether it be to the emperor as supreme, or to governors as sent by him to punish those who do evil and to praise those who do good. For this is the will of God, that by doing good you should put to silence the ignorance of foolish people. Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God. "
but that is not what I want - I don't even know what I want anymore!! Either way having all the things I want is not nearly enough to satisfy my soul.
This past week I've had a many pep talks to myself - at the end of each I have realized the importance to not rush this time that I have. "chiiiiillll elizabeth, cross that bridge when you get there" (assuming I would even get to the bridge) although I am starting to feel anxiety of starting my last half of my college career I am also desiring to savor what is before me now. All my life I have always planned everything, even the smallest most trivial things. In fact my own mom use to get really annoyed by my needy questions to have everything planned out and on time and every detail be accounted for. (unconditional love)
well,
Before it was I just want to graduate college and get married and settle down. Now, I think that has slightly changed. Although my desires stay the same to one day achieve all of that I now just want to be free from a time limit that 'I' set for myself. My one goal is to just keep walking with the Lord daily, being aware of His will for me more so than my own will, and being sensitive to where His spirit leads me. God has blessed me, and lifted the veil from my eyes to see that this is a season to enjoy and praise Him for! He has shown me that I have no responsibility to pursue any kind of relationship but the one I have with His son, Jesus! I know this sounds bad, but I don't want to be tied down right now by a person/job/dream, I want to freely love Jesus and have Him be my consuming thoughts and have my care go towards tasks to further his kingdom...and before the past week I have not fully applied that to my heart and walk with the Lord.
My prayer is that God gives me an awareness of sin along with a heavy conviction daily that recognizes my need for Him! I am looking forward to start the new (very busy) semester with this mindset and see where God proves His grace!!
If you're reading this and would like to pray for me, that would be greatly appreciated!
specific prayers:
1. A couple with two small children visit my work often, they have also visited church twice now! I really feel that they are open to the Gospel, I have yet to actually share the Gospel with them beyond inviting them to church. My request is that you please pray for their hearts be softened towards the Gospel, and that God would continue to be with me while befriending this sweet family!
2. A heart of boldness to genuinely reach out to people and love them like Christ calls me to. I will have smaller classes and probably have more opportunities to have one on one conversations.
3. I want to have a thankful heart during the semester; God blesses me daily with many things...I anticipate days that are going to be overwhelming and busy but in the moment I want to remember that God is for me and not against me.
4. I will be praying that God humbles my heart and brings me to a place solely dependent on Him for joy, content, and love. Let there be no room for my heart to want something besides Jesus.
"But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. Once you were not a people, but now you are God’s people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy. Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul. Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation. Be subject for the Lord’s sake to every human institution, whether it be to the emperor as supreme, or to governors as sent by him to punish those who do evil and to praise those who do good. For this is the will of God, that by doing good you should put to silence the ignorance of foolish people. Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God. "
1 Peter 2:9-16
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
call me nostalgic...
Every year since graduating high school there have been new holidays missed with my family, or new traditions that I have started living away from home. I actually realized this week that I still have my mom and dad's 'house number' as 'home' in my phone...in more ways than one where they are will always be home...but in reality my home is here in Charlotte for now...so I couldn't bring myself to make mom and dad as Home #2...so I made my house number as that and kept my parent's house as home :)
I would definitely consider my family as summer people, we love it...outside talking with music playing in the background...mom makes chicken salad...dad grills hamburgers that have so much seasoning in it that my mom complains it gives her indigestion... I also miss my Dad's illegal fireworks on 4th of July, and mom's anxiety attacks because of dad's illegal fireworks that always came close to burning him, or our house...I mean people...this is my family to the T!!! Any time mom and dad were talking about life, us kids would be sitting there half bored so we start a conversation that usually bashes or embarrasses one of our fellow siblings....and completely cutting off mom and dad's conversation. It is crazy how much little things annoyed me then, because these days I would give anything to be on the back porch getting bug bites while listening to my crazy dysfunctional family!
Although no one can take the place of my real family, God has blessed me with wonderful friends in Charlotte that act as my family here! I am so grateful for my friends who have also shared their families with me and have made me feel welcome anytime!
I look through these pictures every once in while, and it makes me miss them even more!
Family should never be something that you give up on, or forget about...love and appreciate them even at their faults and during their trials.
I would definitely consider my family as summer people, we love it...outside talking with music playing in the background...mom makes chicken salad...dad grills hamburgers that have so much seasoning in it that my mom complains it gives her indigestion... I also miss my Dad's illegal fireworks on 4th of July, and mom's anxiety attacks because of dad's illegal fireworks that always came close to burning him, or our house...I mean people...this is my family to the T!!! Any time mom and dad were talking about life, us kids would be sitting there half bored so we start a conversation that usually bashes or embarrasses one of our fellow siblings....and completely cutting off mom and dad's conversation. It is crazy how much little things annoyed me then, because these days I would give anything to be on the back porch getting bug bites while listening to my crazy dysfunctional family!
Although no one can take the place of my real family, God has blessed me with wonderful friends in Charlotte that act as my family here! I am so grateful for my friends who have also shared their families with me and have made me feel welcome anytime!
I look through these pictures every once in while, and it makes me miss them even more!
Family should never be something that you give up on, or forget about...love and appreciate them even at their faults and during their trials.
Friday, June 24, 2011
going through the motions
It has felt like forever since I last blogged, however there has not been that much to happen to me in the last ten days to really feel like forever ago....
Lately, I have just been in a the same routine...wake up late, do chores, hang around the house, read, go into work, get off late, go to bed even later, wake up and do it all over again....with minor differences depending on the day.
I have also been able to catch up on Season 3 of Chuck thanks to netflix...besides viewing that and So You Think You Can Dance reruns for entertainment, I have also been reading a lot more than usual. I know I was so excited to read Sun Stand Still, but a different book was given to me called Doing Things Right in Matters of the Heart....and I loved it, I finished it in less than a week (it was a small book, but seeing as how I don't love reading and have work, it took me a while to finish) The concepts in this book were awesome points of truth that God has laid out for both young or old females and males to follow by according to His purpose and design for each gender. Starting the book I had an idea of what I thought my role was, and what I should expect from any guy, but after reading I had a totally different perception. Unfortunately, recently...very recently my love life (if you would even call it that) has taken more of a step back than I thought it would, looks like 'that guy' will not be 'the one' unless God changes some hearts of ours. I believe God placed that book in front of me to see how things should look, how I should be treated, and how I should respond to all of it. I'm thankful for God's provision and wisdom (always could use more wisdom)
Next to Chuck, and reading I have really enjoyed spending time with myself...I've been complaining about it, but some days it really is nice to not have to worry about someone else or just to drive in silence to just think and pray, or to be in my room and look at the ceiling...I have a feeling that just as much as this is a 'dead' season, that there will soon be a very much 'alive' season needing a lot of my attention and time...so I'm trying to enjoy all of this time to think, prepare and relax. Needless to say, with all of this extra time I have kept up on my laundry and have been able to bounce back from being sick.
This verse came to my mind this morning as I was recalling how different things have changed and how much I feel as though it is a whirlwind and yet realizing God's faithfulness and acknowledging His perfect plan through it all.
" For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal;a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh;a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose;a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.
What gain has the worker from his toil? I have seen the business that God has given to the children of man to be busy with. He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live; also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil—this is God’s gift to man.
I perceived that whatever God does endures forever; nothing can be added to it, nor anything taken from it. "
[ Ecclesiastes 3:1-14 ]
Lately, I have just been in a the same routine...wake up late, do chores, hang around the house, read, go into work, get off late, go to bed even later, wake up and do it all over again....with minor differences depending on the day.
I have also been able to catch up on Season 3 of Chuck thanks to netflix...besides viewing that and So You Think You Can Dance reruns for entertainment, I have also been reading a lot more than usual. I know I was so excited to read Sun Stand Still, but a different book was given to me called Doing Things Right in Matters of the Heart....and I loved it, I finished it in less than a week (it was a small book, but seeing as how I don't love reading and have work, it took me a while to finish) The concepts in this book were awesome points of truth that God has laid out for both young or old females and males to follow by according to His purpose and design for each gender. Starting the book I had an idea of what I thought my role was, and what I should expect from any guy, but after reading I had a totally different perception. Unfortunately, recently...very recently my love life (if you would even call it that) has taken more of a step back than I thought it would, looks like 'that guy' will not be 'the one' unless God changes some hearts of ours. I believe God placed that book in front of me to see how things should look, how I should be treated, and how I should respond to all of it. I'm thankful for God's provision and wisdom (always could use more wisdom)
Next to Chuck, and reading I have really enjoyed spending time with myself...I've been complaining about it, but some days it really is nice to not have to worry about someone else or just to drive in silence to just think and pray, or to be in my room and look at the ceiling...I have a feeling that just as much as this is a 'dead' season, that there will soon be a very much 'alive' season needing a lot of my attention and time...so I'm trying to enjoy all of this time to think, prepare and relax. Needless to say, with all of this extra time I have kept up on my laundry and have been able to bounce back from being sick.
This verse came to my mind this morning as I was recalling how different things have changed and how much I feel as though it is a whirlwind and yet realizing God's faithfulness and acknowledging His perfect plan through it all.
" For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal;a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh;a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose;a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.
What gain has the worker from his toil? I have seen the business that God has given to the children of man to be busy with. He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live; also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil—this is God’s gift to man.
I perceived that whatever God does endures forever; nothing can be added to it, nor anything taken from it. "
[ Ecclesiastes 3:1-14 ]
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
keeping it real
so it has been about a week or two since I last made goals to wake up earlier, have more of a quiet time and really devote myself to writing in my journal. Well, to my surprise even I have done better than I had expected. Since making the personal goals, I have upheld my disciplined devotion time and regular journal entries. however waking up has not been that difficult. I'm considering changing my goal a bit, I think that I will shoot for more of a 930am rather than 9am....something about the extra thirty minutes does wonders for my attitude.. haha Another goal is to find time to workout more regularly, but that is not exactly "as high of a priority" as it should be apparently. However, I did go on a bike ride today, about 1.5 miles...not bad for a fluke decision to ride.
I have been more quiet this week for some reason than I usually am....maybe just tired, I don't know. But what I do know is that I have been able to focus on a lot of my goals...such as reading, devotions, and journal. Not sure how that has affected my friends and family...but it's not like they have said anything to me about it. haha (I go by unnoticed all the time)
I noticed that my urge to go to the pool has dwindled... probably because I know public schools have let their students out for summer.... enough said.
ugh. other than that my life is so boring these days.... every time I get excited about something it doesn't happen or it is forgotten about...oh well... I really want something exciting to happen, maybe a new friend, a small getaway, dye my hair blue (I would never), aliens invade Charlotte...something!
Obviously, I struggle with contentment. Why is it that every time I think something will change...it doesn't? Maybe I'm being way too cynical and not allowing God to show me what has changed, or improved, or even what I can change about myself to encourage the change I want to see in other aspects of my life. Whatever it is, it is not like I have much else going for me so I hope it happens and I don't miss out on it.
depressing thought this week: If I stay at Trader Joes and work 40hrs a week, I will make more than I will working a 50-60hr week as a teacher.... uhhhmmmm yeah, sign me up for another college loan please?...
encouraging thought this week: "If God is for us; then who can be against us?" Romans 8:31
Oh, and I forgot to let you know....I am have a pen pal, he is my good friend Paul who is studying abroad in China...I received his first letter! He sent it right before he left his hometown in Alabama oooonlyyy...he didn't put a return address on the envelope nor did he include his new address in the letter...so I can't even blame USPS on this one...
Monday, June 13, 2011
death by plastic fork
It has been a while since my last post, but I have been really busy with work and normal life errands!
It has been sorta stressful but needless to say God has been very merciful especially the last week! I am so thankful that He has allowed me to realize how much He has intervened for me in more ways than one...God is so good.
As I mentioned, I have been working lately, and with that obviously comes the nuisances of the public...from bad perfume to crazy kids I have seen a lot. Kids sure are scaring me these days...
Scenario 1 : Busy time at Trader Joes; lots of people, lots of noise; music stops for a song change and what do I hear as I'm ringing up a customer?
" MOOOOOOMMMMM IIIIIIIIIII HAAAAAATTEEEE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!! "
ugh. excuse me. NEVER would I EVERRR tolerate my child speaking to me like that...let alone shrieking it across a public place.
needless to say the entire store stopped and looked over at the child who was shaking he was so mad...he was old enough to know how to walk (and old enough to know right from wrong...but that is besides that point) but it didn't matter because his mom dropped her basket full of groceries and dragged him out of there!
yeah.....that was a good laugh...definitely a conversation starter for my next customer and I...
Scenario 2: If you haven't figured out already that I work at Trader Joes then...well I do...now you know...and at Trader Joes we have a Demo station where you can try food samples that we prepare and put out for our customers to taste and learn about new products. We are happy to give customers second tastings and their children...however...on your child's FIFTH tasting I think they know that they like it....
A man and his son were hovering over the Demo section while I was putting more samples out...the son kept taking lemonade samples...I thought 'whatever, the next one he takes I will cut him off' well besides the little boy's obnoxious habit of making the task of throwing his trash away into a basketball game....at the last sample he took, he also grabbed a fork for the hot dog and then looked up at me and proceeded to make stabbing motions at me....I didn't really think anything of it...kids are on so many drugs these days I just sort of ignored it and chalked it up to ritalin or something
so the kid takes his 4th sample and then comes back AGAIN! I was like alright I'll let him take this one and tell him that enough is enough (all the while the father is watching from afar him take all these samples and only shaking his head)
So he is gathering yet another fork and hot dog sample and then he does the stabbing motion again towards me but this time he yells "I'm going to stab you and make your nose bleed" I was like 'uhhh what did you say?' then he repeated it even louder but this time leaning over the counter "I'm going to stab you with this (held the fork higher) and make your nose bleed" I was shocked...and kinda like freaked out...it was like a scary movie where all the 'innocent' kids bug out and start killing all the adults and puppies! His dad is watching ALL of this and slowly moseys on over nonchalantly and says "son, what is going on?" I looked at him with my 'your stupid' look and told him that his son was wanting to stab me. He chuckles and says...."oh yeah, too much spongebob" WHAT THE HECK IS ON SPONGEBOB THESE DAYS?!? the dad then tells the boy oh lets go...and he tries to got the son to walk away but the kid yells no and then comes to the entrance to behind the counter and says "I'm going to stab her" The dad had to literally pick his kid up and carry him over to the other side of the store.....
"Are you kidding me?" is probably the question you're wondering...it is what I was wondering too.... but then again stuff like this ALWAYS happens to me!
granted, I could take an 8yr. old boy with a plastic fork....but the fact that he was so persistent on stabbing me was a little disturbing!
That was only one hour in Demo...while the other girl went on lunch....today I am in Demo for 7.5 hours!
PHEW! I don't know what is happening...but parents seriously need to teach their kids some discipline and respect! I do know that if that child ever went crazy and did something stupid such as hurting someone, that father would not be able to use TV as an excuse in front of a judge...
can't wait to see what today holds in Demo....
It has been sorta stressful but needless to say God has been very merciful especially the last week! I am so thankful that He has allowed me to realize how much He has intervened for me in more ways than one...God is so good.
As I mentioned, I have been working lately, and with that obviously comes the nuisances of the public...from bad perfume to crazy kids I have seen a lot. Kids sure are scaring me these days...
Scenario 1 : Busy time at Trader Joes; lots of people, lots of noise; music stops for a song change and what do I hear as I'm ringing up a customer?
" MOOOOOOMMMMM IIIIIIIIIII HAAAAAATTEEEE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!! "
ugh. excuse me. NEVER would I EVERRR tolerate my child speaking to me like that...let alone shrieking it across a public place.
needless to say the entire store stopped and looked over at the child who was shaking he was so mad...he was old enough to know how to walk (and old enough to know right from wrong...but that is besides that point) but it didn't matter because his mom dropped her basket full of groceries and dragged him out of there!
yeah.....that was a good laugh...definitely a conversation starter for my next customer and I...
Scenario 2: If you haven't figured out already that I work at Trader Joes then...well I do...now you know...and at Trader Joes we have a Demo station where you can try food samples that we prepare and put out for our customers to taste and learn about new products. We are happy to give customers second tastings and their children...however...on your child's FIFTH tasting I think they know that they like it....
A man and his son were hovering over the Demo section while I was putting more samples out...the son kept taking lemonade samples...I thought 'whatever, the next one he takes I will cut him off' well besides the little boy's obnoxious habit of making the task of throwing his trash away into a basketball game....at the last sample he took, he also grabbed a fork for the hot dog and then looked up at me and proceeded to make stabbing motions at me....I didn't really think anything of it...kids are on so many drugs these days I just sort of ignored it and chalked it up to ritalin or something
so the kid takes his 4th sample and then comes back AGAIN! I was like alright I'll let him take this one and tell him that enough is enough (all the while the father is watching from afar him take all these samples and only shaking his head)
So he is gathering yet another fork and hot dog sample and then he does the stabbing motion again towards me but this time he yells "I'm going to stab you and make your nose bleed" I was like 'uhhh what did you say?' then he repeated it even louder but this time leaning over the counter "I'm going to stab you with this (held the fork higher) and make your nose bleed" I was shocked...and kinda like freaked out...it was like a scary movie where all the 'innocent' kids bug out and start killing all the adults and puppies! His dad is watching ALL of this and slowly moseys on over nonchalantly and says "son, what is going on?" I looked at him with my 'your stupid' look and told him that his son was wanting to stab me. He chuckles and says...."oh yeah, too much spongebob" WHAT THE HECK IS ON SPONGEBOB THESE DAYS?!? the dad then tells the boy oh lets go...and he tries to got the son to walk away but the kid yells no and then comes to the entrance to behind the counter and says "I'm going to stab her" The dad had to literally pick his kid up and carry him over to the other side of the store.....
"Are you kidding me?" is probably the question you're wondering...it is what I was wondering too.... but then again stuff like this ALWAYS happens to me!
granted, I could take an 8yr. old boy with a plastic fork....but the fact that he was so persistent on stabbing me was a little disturbing!
That was only one hour in Demo...while the other girl went on lunch....today I am in Demo for 7.5 hours!
PHEW! I don't know what is happening...but parents seriously need to teach their kids some discipline and respect! I do know that if that child ever went crazy and did something stupid such as hurting someone, that father would not be able to use TV as an excuse in front of a judge...
can't wait to see what today holds in Demo....
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
it's about time
Wow, rereading my past month of blog posts I realize that I was quite a drama queen....granted I'm passionate about everything I do but still...wow!
This past weekend the most astonishing thing happened!!! My book arrived...the one the USPS saaaid they delivered on my door step. Well, it arrived via residents 5473 not 5743 (my actual address number) it had been ripped open and make shifted back together with scotch tape....but never the less; it got to me! I am very happy that I now have it to read! I have already read through the third chapter and I am not disappointed. Steven Furtick does a wonderful job breaking down exactly what goes on in our heads and relays it to scripture allowing his reader to be aware of their lack of audacious faith that God so willingly hears and responds to.
Amongst other things that have been 'late to bloom' so to speak: I have decided that I was going to discipline myself to go to bed at a reasonable hour and wake up no later than 9am. This may seem a bit unimportant but however it makes a HUGE impact on my ability to get my chores done and have a set aside devotional time rather than rushing or fitting it in. It is also time I become more organized...I often forget to do things such as tithe on time, remember specific prayer requests, memorize a helpful verse, of even call to check in with my family and friends.
There is also a particular task that I am taking on that will require a lot of dependence on the Lord, which I have felt recently has been God's pull on my life. I hope that it isn't as hard as I think it will be. BUT God is faithful, and reading this book has really opened my eyes to see how big God can move and I don't want to put a boundary on His capabilities to redeem.
I am really looking forward to start training in a new area at work, which starts Monday, this has kind of been something I have been trying to be patient about and now it is almost here! God may not be opening doors that I think I would like opened but He sure is opening them in other areas and He is there ready to give me favor and blessings!!
So as a new time/season/chapter/phase (whatever you want to call it) is here and quickly shaking things up I am really nervous about where everything will land and where I will be when it does haha It is kind of exciting though too!!!!
YAY for change!
"There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace"
- Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
This past weekend the most astonishing thing happened!!! My book arrived...the one the USPS saaaid they delivered on my door step. Well, it arrived via residents 5473 not 5743 (my actual address number) it had been ripped open and make shifted back together with scotch tape....but never the less; it got to me! I am very happy that I now have it to read! I have already read through the third chapter and I am not disappointed. Steven Furtick does a wonderful job breaking down exactly what goes on in our heads and relays it to scripture allowing his reader to be aware of their lack of audacious faith that God so willingly hears and responds to.
Amongst other things that have been 'late to bloom' so to speak: I have decided that I was going to discipline myself to go to bed at a reasonable hour and wake up no later than 9am. This may seem a bit unimportant but however it makes a HUGE impact on my ability to get my chores done and have a set aside devotional time rather than rushing or fitting it in. It is also time I become more organized...I often forget to do things such as tithe on time, remember specific prayer requests, memorize a helpful verse, of even call to check in with my family and friends.
There is also a particular task that I am taking on that will require a lot of dependence on the Lord, which I have felt recently has been God's pull on my life. I hope that it isn't as hard as I think it will be. BUT God is faithful, and reading this book has really opened my eyes to see how big God can move and I don't want to put a boundary on His capabilities to redeem.
I am really looking forward to start training in a new area at work, which starts Monday, this has kind of been something I have been trying to be patient about and now it is almost here! God may not be opening doors that I think I would like opened but He sure is opening them in other areas and He is there ready to give me favor and blessings!!
So as a new time/season/chapter/phase (whatever you want to call it) is here and quickly shaking things up I am really nervous about where everything will land and where I will be when it does haha It is kind of exciting though too!!!!
YAY for change!
"There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace"
- Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
Friday, June 3, 2011
a good habit to have
I have really been slacking so far this summer at keeping up with a consistent time with God. I recently pulled out a journal that I got for Christmas that had entries from February - March in it...it was amazing to see how much had changed since then...and it's only June! I journaled every day in that three month period, and I remember it being very difficult to either keep it short and sweet or say anything at all. Needless to say, I saw growth and it was so encouraging to re - read battles and praises and seeing where God has been faithful and also areas that I can still be praying about.
I decided that after reading through my old journal that I wanted to try and pick it back up again...I still have a lot of room in the one from Christmas. Part of me is really excited to journal and actually (for the first time) fill up every page of a journal...but another part of me doesn't want to 'close the book' per say to my certain chapters of my life. Is not writing in a journal a way to express what has happened throughout your days and in some cases give closure? It is very never racking when I think about moving on, but the truth is a lot is changing in my life. From people, places, job, school...its getting pretty crazy but I really do want to document it all...and let's face it...I'm not going to share everything on this blog...haha
Well, this morning I had a wonderful quiet time; reading, praying, listening to worship music and just reflecting on God and the things He has been bringing to my attention. It was a sweet time that I had to just be still and put my heart before the Lord. I wrote in my journal, and it felt good to see my feelings, thoughts, and favorite passages from my readings on the paper!
Here is a little taste of one of the books I read, Daily Strengths for Daily Needs:
"He will wave no longer a spotted life of shreds and patches, but he will live with divine unity. He will cease from what is base and frivolous in his life, and be content with all places, and with any service he can render. He will calmly front the morrow, in the negligency of that trust which carries God with it, and so hath already the whole future in the bottom of the heart." - R.W.Emerson
John 16:33 "I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world there will be troubles. But take heart, I have OVERCOME the world."
I decided that after reading through my old journal that I wanted to try and pick it back up again...I still have a lot of room in the one from Christmas. Part of me is really excited to journal and actually (for the first time) fill up every page of a journal...but another part of me doesn't want to 'close the book' per say to my certain chapters of my life. Is not writing in a journal a way to express what has happened throughout your days and in some cases give closure? It is very never racking when I think about moving on, but the truth is a lot is changing in my life. From people, places, job, school...its getting pretty crazy but I really do want to document it all...and let's face it...I'm not going to share everything on this blog...haha
Well, this morning I had a wonderful quiet time; reading, praying, listening to worship music and just reflecting on God and the things He has been bringing to my attention. It was a sweet time that I had to just be still and put my heart before the Lord. I wrote in my journal, and it felt good to see my feelings, thoughts, and favorite passages from my readings on the paper!
"He will wave no longer a spotted life of shreds and patches, but he will live with divine unity. He will cease from what is base and frivolous in his life, and be content with all places, and with any service he can render. He will calmly front the morrow, in the negligency of that trust which carries God with it, and so hath already the whole future in the bottom of the heart." - R.W.Emerson
John 16:33 "I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world there will be troubles. But take heart, I have OVERCOME the world."
Thursday, June 2, 2011
All I wanted was a smoothie...
I woke up to my phone buzzing off my side table...someone was up way too early for me! I went down the stairs thinking about what I wanted for breakfast...I wasn't feeling too lazy so I attempted a smoothie! Here is what the preparation looked like.....
What there is NOT a picture of is after I poured the almond milk in...it leaked everywhere!!! You see, I attempted to put the blender together by myself and must have done something wrong...because not only did the almond milk leak out, the blender was stuck on the post for the loooongest time! Luckily, someone came home with more of a brain than me (Marilyn) and helped me...phew!
 |
| the essentials to a delicious smoothie: banana, strawberries, blueberries peanut butter and almond milk |
But wait, there is more! When I cleaned the blender I put the soap in the pitcher along with hot water and then 'blended' that, making sure all the nooks and crannies are cleaned around the blade....only I made the classic mistake of forgetting the lid!! who does that?? I do. ugh. SO soapy water gets flung on me...the counter..and made it in my smoothie! Don't even think about thinking 'did she drink it?' because after aaaalll of that .... you're darn right I drank it!!
So basically what was suppose to be ten minutes TOP breakfast turned out to be me cleaning up almond milk/peanut butter stuck to everything...followed by a soapy mess! total time for breakfast: 45 minutes
no doubt that tomorrow I am sticking to cereal.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
wait...umm not really..but sure
So now summer is into full swing and I am a bit disappointed this week with how things have ended up...hoping for better luck next week
first of all: the STUPID US postal service lost my book....yeah the one from before.. Sun Stand Still...the one I am still wanting to read....well they didnt actually lose it, they said they delivered it to my house...but they actually did not. I'm contemplating if filing a 'claims report' is worth the $12.69 book (including shipping..next time im upgrading my shipping option)
secondly: I thought I was going to be able to go to FL with friends...and then I checked the schedule at work and realized that the four days I had off are actually days I need to work...so that was my fault...but still I was about to start packing today...when I realized I couldn't go last night....I partially blame the US postal service as well...since they got me all flustered.
thirdly: all my friends are MIA...the ones who are not MIA are working... I have not figured out how this is the US postal services fault too...but I'm sure they are involved with this too...
OK
done complaining....but I am thankful that I have a job that I can honestly say that I love...and I'm just hoping that I can go to the beach at another time during the summer, without missing too much work.
Other than that today consists of spring cleaning and possible pool time, and NOT reading Sun Stand Still
today's random mission: paint toe nails an obnoxiously bright color
first of all: the STUPID US postal service lost my book....yeah the one from before.. Sun Stand Still...the one I am still wanting to read....well they didnt actually lose it, they said they delivered it to my house...but they actually did not. I'm contemplating if filing a 'claims report' is worth the $12.69 book (including shipping..next time im upgrading my shipping option)
secondly: I thought I was going to be able to go to FL with friends...and then I checked the schedule at work and realized that the four days I had off are actually days I need to work...so that was my fault...but still I was about to start packing today...when I realized I couldn't go last night....I partially blame the US postal service as well...since they got me all flustered.
thirdly: all my friends are MIA...the ones who are not MIA are working... I have not figured out how this is the US postal services fault too...but I'm sure they are involved with this too...
OK
done complaining....but I am thankful that I have a job that I can honestly say that I love...and I'm just hoping that I can go to the beach at another time during the summer, without missing too much work.
Other than that today consists of spring cleaning and possible pool time, and NOT reading Sun Stand Still
today's random mission: paint toe nails an obnoxiously bright color
Saturday, May 28, 2011
The Rocket Summer: Goodbye Waves & Driveways
'' Just walk away
Gather your thoughts for the second wave
Of this argument on this epic changing day
Its crazy to think that an hour ago all things were great
But we stand here both proud both wrong and right
Throwing cheap shots in this stubborn fight
And our lives are so intertwined in one
But we're just so stuck in this moment it's clear that were coming undone
And you see it’s hard for me to breathe
When I get all worked up with these feelings
And I don’t know exactly how it is
That we can be so mad we consider to not exist
When we both know there’s so much love clenched within our fists
The goodbye waves in the driveway they just resonate
And yes I am throwing it right back at her
While were drowning in rivers from our faces
We just wanna know if, this is this over
A trembling silence fills the air
As we stand here so impaired, so aware
I sit in this house
Alone with fresh photographs
And I just can’t relax
And like cigarette smoke, I’m starting to choke on this
That half of my soul is on the road in a car with a girl in a dress
And it’s making it hard for me to breathe
When I get all worked up with these feelings
And I don’t know exactly how it is
That just to say I’m right your wrong we both lose to win
The goodbye waves in the driveway they just resonate
And yes I am throwing it right back at her
While were drowning in rivers from our faces
We just wanna know if this, is this over
A trembling silence fills the air
As we stand here whoa-oh
So hey now, maybe we're just being stupid
Maybe we're just being dumb
Hey maybe it's time that we stopped and we realized
Like a flag in the wind we are one
And how at first it’s made so pure and lovely
But in battle can be torn to shreds
But with time and with patience and love and affection
Can be fixed with needle and thread
Because I love you and do you love me
And nothing will make this leave
I said I love you and do you love me
And nothing will make, make, make, make this leave
So remember me, yeah!
Remember me, yeah!
Remember me
And don’t walk away... ''
Gather your thoughts for the second wave
Of this argument on this epic changing day
Its crazy to think that an hour ago all things were great
But we stand here both proud both wrong and right
Throwing cheap shots in this stubborn fight
And our lives are so intertwined in one
But we're just so stuck in this moment it's clear that were coming undone
And you see it’s hard for me to breathe
When I get all worked up with these feelings
And I don’t know exactly how it is
That we can be so mad we consider to not exist
When we both know there’s so much love clenched within our fists
The goodbye waves in the driveway they just resonate
And yes I am throwing it right back at her
While were drowning in rivers from our faces
We just wanna know if, this is this over
A trembling silence fills the air
As we stand here so impaired, so aware
I sit in this house
Alone with fresh photographs
And I just can’t relax
And like cigarette smoke, I’m starting to choke on this
That half of my soul is on the road in a car with a girl in a dress
And it’s making it hard for me to breathe
When I get all worked up with these feelings
And I don’t know exactly how it is
That just to say I’m right your wrong we both lose to win
The goodbye waves in the driveway they just resonate
And yes I am throwing it right back at her
While were drowning in rivers from our faces
We just wanna know if this, is this over
A trembling silence fills the air
As we stand here whoa-oh
So hey now, maybe we're just being stupid
Maybe we're just being dumb
Hey maybe it's time that we stopped and we realized
Like a flag in the wind we are one
And how at first it’s made so pure and lovely
But in battle can be torn to shreds
But with time and with patience and love and affection
Can be fixed with needle and thread
Because I love you and do you love me
And nothing will make this leave
I said I love you and do you love me
And nothing will make, make, make, make this leave
So remember me, yeah!
Remember me, yeah!
Remember me
And don’t walk away... ''
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
"send me away with the words of a love song..."
I couldn't help myself from feeling discontent with the strain between my heart, my head, and common sense. It's kinda funny how the three would seemingly go hand in hand but more often [in my life at least] contradict themselves. Throughout my day of running, talking with friends and family, driving, watching TV..I was distracted by what has been something I've struggled with the last 6 months... My heart says "love", my mind says "push away", and common sense says "be happy with what you have" how am I suppose to decide? Do I decide?
I am torn between guarding my heart and trusting God, or totally ruining a potentially good thing...but is it already ruined? My head is swimming with what ifs and maybes and confusion of all sort...my mind is not at rest...definitely not content either. I've poured my prayers and tears into this...and I feel broken by something that I thought God was totally encouraging. I guess while my intentions were good I was not in tune to God's sovereign voice telling me to guard my heart. So at this point...until I know where God is [heart, mind, or common sense or all three] I can repent for my carelessness, and pray that God is even more prevalent in the situation. I pray he reminds me of my first true love, Jesus Christ, and makes all my joy come from Him!
Tomorrow's goal is to forget about everything I think or feel and to solely seek God in His word about this, and pray earnestly that God would take away any false feelings or thoughts and replace them with peace and contentment with reminders of His faithfulness and goodness in my life. I hope it doesn't mean losing my best friend, but if that is the cross I have to carry then I need to know that it was no where near the price of Jesus dying for my sin.
My sin has contributed to my despair but has also made me weak and that is good apparently :
[ "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 2Corinthians 12:9 ]
Not everyone is going to understand what this blog post was about, and that is okay...because the one person that does know...matters that much
until next time...
I am torn between guarding my heart and trusting God, or totally ruining a potentially good thing...but is it already ruined? My head is swimming with what ifs and maybes and confusion of all sort...my mind is not at rest...definitely not content either. I've poured my prayers and tears into this...and I feel broken by something that I thought God was totally encouraging. I guess while my intentions were good I was not in tune to God's sovereign voice telling me to guard my heart. So at this point...until I know where God is [heart, mind, or common sense or all three] I can repent for my carelessness, and pray that God is even more prevalent in the situation. I pray he reminds me of my first true love, Jesus Christ, and makes all my joy come from Him!
Tomorrow's goal is to forget about everything I think or feel and to solely seek God in His word about this, and pray earnestly that God would take away any false feelings or thoughts and replace them with peace and contentment with reminders of His faithfulness and goodness in my life. I hope it doesn't mean losing my best friend, but if that is the cross I have to carry then I need to know that it was no where near the price of Jesus dying for my sin.
My sin has contributed to my despair but has also made me weak and that is good apparently :
[ "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 2Corinthians 12:9 ]
Not everyone is going to understand what this blog post was about, and that is okay...because the one person that does know...matters that much
until next time...
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
climax of my day: going to wal mart....
I have now completed my first official day of summer 2011, it was long, it was restful, and I was completely lost as to what to do with all of my extra time. I felt so pathetic. [a little backtrack...] Yesterday, I took the Praxis which I am so glad that is over with. Hopefully I pass, and be one step closer to being finished with school and one step closer to teaching...if the world doesn't freeze over before hand. [hmm I'm not bitter about being in school at all]
Today was probably the worst possible first day of summer anyone has ever had...it was raining...it was cold...my motivation was low...friends were busy...and I was stuck with my thoughts of how pathetic I was. I'm disappointed that in spite of having nothing to do, I didn't even have a devotion time with the Lord. You would think with all this extra time on my hands I would make use of it, well lesson learned I suppose. However, I did find one of my summer readings on amazon called Sun Stand Still by Steven Furtick for only 8.75! I am very excited to start reading this; along with a Praying Life by Paul Miller!!
One of my main goals for the summer is to attempt p90x...I've had many people to discourage me from it, but a select few have been cheering me on. Today was suppose to be the start of that but I was missing the ONE cd that I needed that was locked in a house while the family is on a beach vacation. sooooo that didn't happen. Naturally, my next thought was- "well, I'll go to wal-mart" I'm not sure why walmart is a fall back place of boredom..but it is for me.
Today was probably the worst possible first day of summer anyone has ever had...it was raining...it was cold...my motivation was low...friends were busy...and I was stuck with my thoughts of how pathetic I was. I'm disappointed that in spite of having nothing to do, I didn't even have a devotion time with the Lord. You would think with all this extra time on my hands I would make use of it, well lesson learned I suppose. However, I did find one of my summer readings on amazon called Sun Stand Still by Steven Furtick for only 8.75! I am very excited to start reading this; along with a Praying Life by Paul Miller!! All in all my day was not completely useless, tomorrow my standards are much higher for myself, such as laundry, work out, devotion, clean and if it is sunny lay out...then tie dying with friends - I think I just described the life of a ex-hippie/yoga instructor grandma .... so comforting.
A little taste from Sun Stand Still:
" I'm glad God didn't cut the crisis moments out of the Bible. Without them, we would know nothing of his power. We would have nothing on which to base our trust in his unlimited provision. We would never prove his potential. We would never be carried by his tender mercies or have stories to tell of his presence in our darkest hours. Sometimes God lets the sun go down so that he can be our only light. Audacious faith doesn't mean my prayers work every time. It means that God is working even when my prayers don't seem to be working at all. "
Saturday, May 14, 2011
[ these are a few of my favorite things... ]
new socks ( so cushiony and comfy )
the way I feel after a good run
laughing at things no one else is laughing at
fresh tulips on my window sill
a movie night with friends
writing and receiving letters
satisfaction of a clean room
the adrenaline of a roller coaster
skittles
reading a book by the pool/beach
the smell of fresh cut grass
shifting from third to fourth gear
bobby pins ( I really do think I would fall apart without them )
meeting new people
getting a call from my mom just because she loves me
I love movies with blood, guts and guns
cooking new recipes
an unexpected nap in the middle of the day
snow
road trips ( the right people make aallll the difference! )
traveling
worshiping God
lemon and lime ( anything and everything )
being on time
cold pillows
the color yellow
there are many more things that make me smile, and enjoy life; hopefully my new blog will incorporate my favorite things with my everyday life in ways that are funny, interesting and fun to read and know about! From quotes, pictures, and stories, to jokes, recipes and random stuff or anything else I can type up to share!!
the way I feel after a good run
laughing at things no one else is laughing at
fresh tulips on my window sill
a movie night with friends
writing and receiving letters
satisfaction of a clean room
the adrenaline of a roller coaster
skittles
reading a book by the pool/beach
the smell of fresh cut grass
shifting from third to fourth gear
bobby pins ( I really do think I would fall apart without them )
meeting new people
getting a call from my mom just because she loves me
I love movies with blood, guts and guns
cooking new recipes
an unexpected nap in the middle of the day
snow
road trips ( the right people make aallll the difference! )
traveling
worshiping God
lemon and lime ( anything and everything )
being on time
cold pillows
the color yellow
there are many more things that make me smile, and enjoy life; hopefully my new blog will incorporate my favorite things with my everyday life in ways that are funny, interesting and fun to read and know about! From quotes, pictures, and stories, to jokes, recipes and random stuff or anything else I can type up to share!!
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